32 Comments

Ofcourse thank you for commenting 🥰🤗

Expand full comment

Thank you so much for this! For the longest time I shied away from writing because I never felt like I was good enough—especially compared to other people, what they wrote, and the way they write. Sometimes I still have these moments of self doubt, but I’m so glad I started Substack and stopped robbing myself of the biggest joy I have in life, which is writing ✍🏽

Expand full comment

Omg thank you Mónica and RETWEET!!!! I was robbing myself of the joy of writing for SO.LONG. It’s SO much fun to write how I want to write, even if it’s not as “beautiful and poised” as others. I’m so glad you’re writing. Thank you for sharing your story 🩷🩷🩷

Expand full comment

Loved this post! It was a reminder I needed today.

Expand full comment

This hit the nail on the head. I saw myself so much in all of those behaviours and am happy to say I have started putting myself out there more. But I still have moments where all that doubt creeps back in and I tell myself I am not good enough and need to read others and it all spirals downwards. Thank you for this great reminder!

Expand full comment

Thank you Tun!!! I am so glad you enjoyed. I agree I slip back into these behaviors from time to time and it’s so great to have a mindful check-in with myself that these thoughts and behaviors don’t serve me any more!!

Expand full comment

Thanks for writing this. We compare ourselves to others too often. Whether the timeline for your life choices. Jobs, success, or relationships we forget we are on our own journey. Thanks for the tips too.

Expand full comment

You’re so right about timeline. Our success happens on our own divine timing! Thanks for sharing <3

Expand full comment

Oh my word, this is what I have needed to read for ages!!

When it comes to reading and writing I have actually stopped reading books by one of my favourite authors because I am so intimidated by her talent (I did a post about it), I wonder why I bother writing. Don't get me wrong I know it is beyond pointless to compare myself to a well known and well established author, but my brain can't help it.

Reading this makes so much sense and I will try those three steps to let go of the comparison that’s holding me back.

Thank you so much for this Jessie :)

Expand full comment

Hi Hannah! I have the saaammeee affliction! I take breaks from (or cut myself off of) some of my favorite creators because it’s just easier for me to create “with my eyes on my own paper.” I love them and no shade ofcourse! It’s so great you have given yourself permission to take the space you need to create in YOUR specific way! I look forward to reading your work!

Expand full comment

It’s just so good to know I’m not alone in feeling this way!!

I have posted my prologue and chapters one and two if you are interested :)

Expand full comment

Just saved and already can’t wait to read!!!

Expand full comment

Aww thank you Jessie!! Ooohh all the best for it!! :D :D

Expand full comment

Never alone!!!! I’m currently on a little maternity leave but I’ll save your work for my down time!

Expand full comment

“Comparing to others helps me: learn, see how other people are doing it, or get inspired”

Wow, I feel like I have been called out and simultaneously had a wake up call. I never knew there was a term for when you compare every aspect of your life to others. Saving this post for future reference and to serve as a reminder

Expand full comment

Thanks so much for reading & sharing your experience Abigail !! I totally agree that the comparison cycle creeps up on me in the form of “studying planning and prepping.” After years of no progress I said enough is enough!! I’m glad you are awake to it now too! Thanks again for your comment 🩷

Expand full comment

For a long time I was stuck in what I call now the “inspiration rut”. I would always look for inspiration, get ideas but never work one. I didn’t even know that I was comparing and let that comparison stop me taking any action. It actually took someone else to point out the reason. Now I’ve started doing, at the same time trying to unlearn that comparing habits.

Expand full comment

Preach Shanjitha!!!! I love your language. I was stuck in an inspiration rut for years too! It’s such a slippery slope because you feel like you’re working toward your goal by watching others work towards theirs. In reality I made no progress! I’m so glad to be working “with my eyes on my own paper” so to speak

Expand full comment

Eyes on my own paper. Love that.

Expand full comment

Thanks for this great reminder, Jessie! As a recovering perfectionist, it’s so easy to say, “If can’t do something perfectly or as good as X person, it’s not worth trying.” The trap is obviously that not trying GUARANTEES you will never succeed.

Expand full comment

Sara!!!! Brilliantly said!!! I couldn’t agree more. I was stuck in a similar thought cycle for years and it totally guaranteed I would never ever be a professional writer at that rate! I feel so liberated now taking small, imperfect steps toward my goal! Thanks for sharing 🩷

Expand full comment

Small, imperfect steps are underrated! Look at us out there doing it. Big love ❤️

Expand full comment

This was all beautifully said! Such a great breakdown of something we've all struggled with at some point, especially when we push outside our comfort zone. I'm so glad you're sharing your writing with us now. 🙏🏻

Expand full comment

Thank you so much Lindsay!! I appreciate your encouragement and kind words! I loved your recent post about hitting publish on your first piece a few years ago. Every day and every small step is a journey towards who we want to become!! 🩷🩷🩷

Expand full comment

Aw thank you, Jessie! Yes, exactly—every small step matters 🙏🏻

Expand full comment

I love this. Everyone seems very concerned with this lately. Your advice can help so many people.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much Allison!!!

Expand full comment

Yes! This so beautifully well put, and organized. Thank you!!

I have to constantly remind myself these published works have been edited several times over and some writers have been writing for years. (It’s the equivalent of those well polished instagram posts. )

I can’t tell you the amount of books I’ve read on grammar, sentence structure and puncuation,(okay, maybe I can😅) But you’re correct.

We at some point need to shove that little gremlin of doubt to the side and write anyways. It’s less about perfection and being the most unique. It’s about expressing who we are, and showing up for ourselves. I apologize for my long comment but this is a topic I hold dear and resonate well with.

Thank you for sharing this 🙂

We all need to agree to stop feeding our doubt gremlins,(especially after midnight.)

Expand full comment

Aw Carly thank you so much for sharing your experience and your sweet words! Your grammar is perfect as it is and you are beyond ready to shove that doubt gremlin to the side and LIVE!! I love your comment thank you again for sharing 🩷

Expand full comment

The way I’m also a queen of comparison sometimes who gets overstimulated easily and hides a lil bit before coming back to earth to share her findings with the world 🫨😂🫣 Thank you for your wise words Jessie! 🫶🏼

Expand full comment

Hahaha sameeee!!!! It’s so good to check myself when I go down that road! Thanks for reading & sharing your experience 🩷🩷🩷

Expand full comment

I really appreciate your writing specifically this post! I stumbled upon you through your notes and I’m so glad I did. I’m constantly comparing myself and have since I was much younger… it seems even more prevalent now as a new stay at home mom/wife and aspiring author! It is exhausting and I’m truly my worst critic. Because of that, I really liked your internal dialogue section in your article. Your words spoke to me and I am reflecting on your questions to really clarify what I want to do. I get so easily overwhelmed with everything I want to accomplish but I definitely need to narrow it down to what truly matters and what I want my life to be about because life is so short! I’m proud of myself because I’m at least writing on substack haha but I definitely want to work on my first book AND be the best wife/mom I can be. Thank you for sharing! You have inspired me! Sending you love!

Expand full comment